Three weeks ago, I took delivery of a purple iPhone 14 Pro Max. The last seven days have been difficult for me as I lost someone close to me. Therefore, my feelings right now may be misdirected because I can do something about this problem rather than feeling helpless about the tragic situation of losing a loved one. I do not want to talk about that.
I got married in 2013, and at the time, my dear uncle gifted my wife and me; a pair of white iPhone 5s. That started my Apple journey. Before that, I recall rocking an HTC android phone. Since then, I have fully transitioned to everything Apple. I sold my HP windows laptop for a 13-inch MacBook Pro. I also got rid of the beloved Nexus 7 tablet for an iPad. Over the years, I have bought almost every iPhone. I even converted my family to iPhones. Adding to that, the numerous Apple Watches and AirPods etc. I got on board each time Apple launched something cool, something magical or just something convenient. This rarely bothered me. I felt good to have everything Apple. Everything works if one is in the Apple ecosystem. This was more true five years ago than it is today.
Recently, I felt my relationship with technology was toxic because I am way too involved/emotionally attached than I should be. I am starting to feel that the Apple walls are getting ever so higher, and my path of escape is disappearing before my eyes. I fear I do not have it in me to inconvenience myself to move away from the Apple wall garden, which frankly feels more like a jail than a garden. Many may feel I am exaggerating. Perhaps, I am. However, despite various attempts, I struggle to let go of this feeling.
However, in our world, there is only one alternative. Either you are in the Apple garden or the Google one. The key difference is one is MORE OPEN than the other.
I am not ready to completely abandon Apple. I do not want to leave Apple altogether. Likewise, I want to be a little less reliant and dependent. Perhaps, a little distance from Apple will help me feel a little less trapped. A considerable portion of my identity is linked to Apple. People who know me know that I am an Apple fan. I do not blame them. I am a huge Apple fan. Today, I'd rather not be. I want to avoid being a fan of a multi-trillion-dollar corporate organisation whose primary motive is to make as much money as possible. I want to be someone who uses technology for its use case and is not emotionally attached. The fact that I am thinking about this makes me feel that I care far too much about Apple. It’s not healthy.
So... what will I do?
I intend to do a few things. This will be an experiment, and it WILL NOT BE EASY. My Apple relationship started with an iPhone, which is where I should start. I have pre-ordered the Google Pixel 7 Pro. An Android device will hopefully enable me to live in both ecosystems without feeling trapped in just one.
I have been wearing an Apple Watch daily and have a daily MOVE streak of over 1200 days. I will be ending that streak soon. Not only that, but I will only wear the Apple Watch for my outdoor runs or when I go shopping.
Consequently, I will undertake an exploration process to find Apple exclusive apps such as Things 3.
Finally, I will take a break from Apple-related news/coverage. I will utilise the Feedbin feature, which automatically marks feeds tagged “Apple” as read, so I never see them.
I am curious about how my future self will react and if this experiment works. Perhaps, I will learn a few things along the way.
A part of me feels stupid that I am deliberately making things difficult for myself. However, a more significant part of me wants to do something about this feeling that has bugged me for most of this week, and doing nothing is no longer an option.
My brain tells me I am doing this to divert attention from losing a loved one. My brain is likely correct, but I do not want to think about it.