I am struggling!

It’s painful to express what I am going through when the people of Ukraine are fighting for their lives, their home, their country, and their future. My issues seem miniature in comparison, and it most certainly is.

I have been struggling for numerous reasons for the last couple of weeks, and the situation in Ukraine 🇺🇦 has worsened it for me.

There are no excuses and no one to blame, but I am irritable, annoyed, upset and have a sense of helplessness. This is unlike me. I am reasonably calm and composed with a positive attitude. It isn’t easy, but I have to accept that the person I am today is most certainly not the person I was and not the person I want to be.

In addition to the Ukraine 🇺🇦 situation, the following has been weighing on my mind:

  • My work situation is rapidly changing, and I am transferring to another team in the organisation because they desperately need my assistance. This has caught me off guard and wasn’t consulted.
  • My dear cousin’s marriage is in its last legs.
  • The sense of not spending enough time with my son
  • As a result of all of the above, my relationship with my dear wife is suffering

It’s time to get my shit in order

I roughly know what I need to do. However, this is one of those situations where it’s easier said than done.

I must try. I owe that to myself and my family. Tomorrow is Monday and the last day of February. I will wake up tomorrow with a positive mindset, focused on things within my control. It won’t be easy, but accepting my struggles is the first step towards a better tomorrow.

However, wishing tomorrow will be better is hardly a solution.

The first agenda for tomorrow is having a frank conversation with my team lead; planning my temporary absence and how my current work will be progressed in my absence—communicating the consequences of my departure to my clients and stakeholders. Managing expectations is crucial.

My wife is my support system, and it’s time I stepped up. She is fantastic, and I am fortunate to have her by my side.

I have not figured out what I will do to address the other concerns on my mind. It is a work in progress.

I am going to bed tonight with the hope that tomorrow’s sunrise brings a new ray of hope for me. I also pray for the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦; their spirit has been remarkable.


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